Twitter was sent into a chaos spiral earlier this week, when user Alek Krautmann (handle: @AlekKrautmann) posted a photo of Panera bagels sliced vertically like regular bread, with the caption, “Today I introduced my coworkers to the St. Louis secret of ordering bagel bread sliced. It was a hit!” Was it, though?
In terms of sheer attention, yes, absolutely. Within hours, tens (hundreds?) of brands and regular Twitter users, sensing the opportunity to dunk on someone and bolster their social media followings, chimed in with their own pics of “St. Louis style” foods (all of them for sure made up). Behold: the most cursed of the #bagelgate-inspired images.
Chips Ahoy drowned a bag of their cookies in milk, just like people definitely do in St. Louis, 100 percent.
They don’t call St. Louis “Ice Sandwich City” for nothing.
Don’t even get a St. Louis native started on whether to dip your Oreos in standard red salsa or salsa verde—loyalties run deep.
You think a pizza is “St. Louis style” just because it’s topped with Provel? Wow, how embarrassing for you. You are so lucky we’re here.
In St. Louis, the cheese goes on the outside of a grilled cheese sandwich. It is canon.
This is also an acceptable way to eat your bagel in St. Louis: one vertical cut, with dabs of peanut butter and jelly.
This may be difficult to handle—anxiety-inducing, even—if you’re not from St. Louis.
An authentic St. Louis style hot dog, also known as a Chaos Sandwich.
NOOOO!!! Too far.
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